6. What if the homework assignment is "too hard"?
The heartrending lament "It's too hard!" rings out in many households each school night. It may be that your child is too tired or the work really may be overwhelming. Obviously, you shouldn't actually be doing your child's homework but occasionally it is necessary to help.
When your second grader is staring at her work sheet in mute terror, you can start by saying, "First, let's read the directions." A mom of a mildly math-phobic eight-year-old says, "If there are 40 math problems, I suggest that she do 5, and then we take a break together. Sometimes I give her a treat when she finishes each set of five."
If homework ends in tears every night, you need to find out why. Is your child the only one in the class having trouble? Does he hate this particular teacher? Is it just a temporary problem because he's not getting the math this week?
Teachers can help with troubleshooting. If a child is having academic difficulty, many schools are willing to devise an individual educational plan. Certain homework assignments may be scaled down, your child may be given longer deadlines, or may be allowed to do alternative assignments suited to her learning style: If she's a hands-on learner, she might be able to build a paddleboat instead of writing a science paper. Clearly, much depends on the school and the teacher.
Sometimes, homework angst is the result of a teacher's high expectations. If your child is in this situation, talk to other parents to find out if their kids are also having difficulty. If you feel fairly confident that the teacher does have high expectations, talk to her and find out what the rationale is for especially ambitious assignments. If you can't get anywhere with the teacher, get together with other parents and meet with the principal.
To temper homework battles, consider someone other than yourself to coach your child. You don't always need to hire an expensive tutor; sometimes the college-age baby-sitter or the high school kid next door can help your third grader master the multiplication tables.
