We have a terrible morning routine. The kids--six and eight--get up and dressed, then eat their breakfast, no problem. Once I announce it's time to get in the car for school, the yelling, tears and hysteria begin. They can't find their backpacks, coats or lunch boxes, and I end up screaming with exasperation. Once we're all in the car it's over--everyone's happy.
It's hard to change a negative routine, but not impossible. To improve yours, you need to choose a plan of attack, and take on a matter-of-fact attitude. That means dropping your strong emotional response to the situation.
THREE DIFFERENT APPROACHES
1. FRONT DOOR LINE-UP Perhaps the simplest approach is to set your children's lunch boxes, coats and backpacks by the door yourself so the kids don't need to run around the house trying to get their items together. When you announce, "It's time to get in the car," all they need to do is grab their things and climb in.
2. FIVE-MINUTE COUNTDOWN If you feel it's their job--not yours--to manage their belongings, you can announce, "I'm getting in the car, we'll be leaving in five minutes," and then get in the car yourself and leave your children to their own devices. Sit in the car and wait. They may panic at first, but in time they'll probably figure out how to organize themselves.
This approach may bother you if you think your children truly can't manage themselves, and will end up going to school without lunch or a coat. Worse yet, you might end up being late to work. Both these fears are justifiable in the short term, but in time your kids will learn to manage themselves quite nicely.
3. VERBAL CUES Finally, you can use verbal cues to guide your kids through each step of the getting-in-the-car transition:
• "We'll be getting in the car in five minutes, it's time to put your coats on."
• "Now it's time to find your backpack, where is it?"
• "Here's your lunch. Now let's get in the car."
You might not like this approach because you think your children should be able to manage the transition without prompts. Here too, in time, you'll be able to withdraw your reminders.
Now, pick a plan and stick with it. In three weeks, your new--totally positive--routine will be in place.
