I have a 2 1/2-year-old boy who hardly sleeps at all. He refuses to take a nap. If we try to get him down for one, it's usually a two-hour fight.

He goes to sleep between 8 and 10 P.M., and gets up between 6 and 7 A.M.. He also often wakes us during the night. He goes full speed ahead all day, so I know that he is exhausted. What can I do?

You're right, your child needs more sleep. Toddlers who get adequate sleep grow optimally, are healthier and cope better with the frustrations of toddlerhood.

First, call your child's doctor to see if he has any suggestions. Then read SOLVE YOUR CHILD'S SLEEP PROBLEMSby Richard Ferber (Simon & Schuster, 1986) or THE SLEEP BOOK FOR TIRED PARENTS by Rebecca Huntley (Parenting Press, 1991). Beyond their methods for helping kids get into a healthy sleep routine, both of these books provide valuable information about how much sleep children need at different ages. According to Ferber's book, for instance, a child your son's age needs between 12 and 13 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period.

Attempting to change his sleep schedule is difficult but not impossible. Here are some points to consider as you try to increase the length of time he sleeps.

Keep a midday rest part of your daily ritual; he may start napping again, and you want to make sure you're providing the opportunity. Settle him into his bed, but if he's not asleep after 30 minutes, get him up. It serves no purpose to keep him there, and more time in bed will gear him up rather than quiet him down.

You probably already have a consistent bedtime routine that includes a winding down period, a warm bath, quiet music, rocking and a story. Eliminate any TV watching, wrestling, excited play or running around the house. If you offer a bedtime snack, make it bananas and warm milk rather than ice cream and cookies. Carbohydrates usually calm a child, while sugar might stimulate him.

No doubt, your situation is frustrating. As you try to improve it, make sure your demeanor remains calm and quiet as you send your child off to bed. Lie down with him if that will help him get to sleep sooner. Once your child is falling asleep earlier, you can gradually withdraw your bedtime support. You want to create positive associations with sleep, not negative ones brought about by yelling and harshness prior to bedtime.

Now evaluate your child's day. How hectic is it? Is your toddler's life overscheduled and overstimulated? If it is, you might want to slow it down for sleep's sake. When a young child is constantly on the go, it's hard to settle down for a good night's rest.