At what age do kids start developing real friends? My first-grader doesn't seem to have any real buddies. I ask him who he plays with at recess and he says, "No one." He doesn't have any pals that he wants to invite over to play, either. I'm concerned that he will grow up to be antisocial.

Yes, children do need friends to support them as they edge away from the family and become more independent. Some children have only one good friend at a time; others have many. Your child may be socially immature, a late bloomer. That's fine. He'll learn the skills of friendship in his own time. Trust this. Don't bug him about the importance of friends--this draws too much negative attention to the situation.

WHAT YOU CAN DO
There are, however, little things you can do to help. Ask your child's teacher to pair your son with another friendless child--one who is slightly older or younger would be best, because different-aged children accommodate one another more easily. On the home front, you might invite a child over after school or on Saturday afternoon to play. To make sure the time is a success, plan an activity you know they'll both enjoy. You want your child to begin to see himself as social rather than alone.

For more ideas, you might want to readCHILDREN'S FRIENDSHIPS; THE DEVELOPING CHILD by Zick Rubin (Harvard University Press, 1980).