On our "fun things to do with the family" list, getting stuck in traffic is nowhere to be found. After all, we're busy people, and during the precious time we have with our kids, we'd rather be playing ball, sharing an ice-cream cone or taking in the sights at a local museum. But the truth is that much of life takes place during those murky times that happen between events: the 15 minutes you have before the soccer game starts; the 20 minutes spent fidgeting in your doctor's waiting room; the 10 minutes stuck in traffic. These are times that are usually short, unplanned and unwanted. And for parents who always have too much to do, these creeping blocks of time can feel like a colossal waste. But they don't have to be.
Just because a moment hasn't been neatly penciled into our calendar does not mean it can't be memorable. In fact, say a number of creative parents (not to mention a popular bumper sticker), some of the best times in life happen while we're busy making other plans. "Ninety percent of what I do with my kids is in the car, the grocery store or on errands," says writer and educational consultant Nancy Sokol Green of Carlsbad, California. She makes the time count by being alert to opportunities to start lively exchanges with her 10- and 12-year-old. To other parents, she recommends carrying a mental list of conversation starters.
The shift from seeing these moments as found time rather than lost time is not an easy one to make. Anyone with a growing to-do list will attest to that. But with a few tools--like Green's conversation starters--it's hardly impossible. And the rewards are huge. Just ask the Derrs of Colorado Springs, Colorado. Carolyn Derr, a science teacher and mother of two, has made a habit of expecting the unexpected delay: she carries "treasure packs," which are bags of trinkets her girls can play with whenever the family is forced to wait. The Derrs have also found ways to turn chores, like shopping, into family field trips. "It has taken several years of experience," says Carolyn, "but we are getting much better at seizing the moments when we have them."
As it turns out, this carpe diem approach to fun may be downright practical for today's families. A recent study conducted by James P. Robinson, a sociology professor at the University of Maryland in College Park, concluded that Americans actually have more time now than they did 30 years ago. Only today, the time we have doesn't come in manageable chunks but in short snatches on weekdays. Many of us tend to fill these moments with television, which adds to the feeling that we rarely have free time.
Families like the Derrs and Greens suggest there's a more satisfying alternative. The ideas on the following pages may seem simple, but that's the point. And even more important than the actual activities, they note, is having an attitude that lets you find fun where you can. Whether you're at the grocery store, a restaurant, in the car or just plain waiting, you may discover that you have much more family time than you ever thought possible.
Barbara Rowley is a contributing editor to FAMILYFUN.
