How to Raise a Good Friend

Making friends sounds as simple as childs play, but if you watch any young child, you'll see how hard it really is. A two-year-old will be taking turns on the trampoline one minute and grabbing his buddy's toys the next. A four-year-old may spend an hour playing make-believe with a pal, only to end up screaming, I don't like you, you're not my friend anymore.

Learning social skills is one of the most difficult developmental tasks a child faces — and one of the most critical for future success in life. The importance of friendships solidifies during the school years, when kids start to move outside the home and family, and peer relationships really take hold.

By age eight most children are able to step into the skin of a friend and really understand what he's thinking and feeling. Relationships become egalitarian and reciprocal as kids gradually work to learn the rules and skills of friendship. Children are naturally attracted to those similar in physical attributes, interests and activity level. Girls form a circle of friends with lots of sharing, intimacy and support — as well as gossiping, back-biting and secrecy. Boys form groups or gangs where one child dominates and the others fall in line behind him. Some children have lots of friends, others one best friend at a time.

While the skills of friendship come naturally as children mature, parents can and should take steps to help the process along.