My six-year-old daughter won't go to bed unless her father or I sleep with her.

We've tried letting her cry until she goes to sleep; letting her cry for 15 minutes, for 30 minutes, and so on. We've had her sleep with the light on and the door open, and with her younger sister in the same bed. Nothing works.

Our daughter knows that it's a problem but she still panics when we tell her she has to sleep without us. What else can we do?

No doubt about it, you're into a nightmarish sleep and bedtime routine--and the variety of attempts you're making to keep your daughter in her own bed are part of the problem. Jumping from one idea to the next only leaves her confused.

TURNING BAD NIGHTS INTO GOOD NIGHTS
Here are three options. Choose one and stick with it. Ignore any other events that might interfere with your success and make sure you're energized. Also, warn your daughter of your plan two days in advance.

OPTION 1:
Put your daughter into her bedroom for the night after teeth brushing, story and prayers, then close the door. Park yourself outside her door on a chair or in a sleeping bag. Every five minutes say, "It's time to go to sleep, good night." Say these exact same words every five minutes in a monotone voice until she falls asleep.

If she attempts to leave her room, hold the door shut. You're right there, and you haven't deserted her. With this approach you're giving your daughter the opportunity to learn to put herself to sleep.

OPTION 2:
Put a sleeping bag on the floor of your bedroom and offer your child the choice to sleep on the floor or in her own bed. If she chooses to sleep on the floor she must stay there. If she attempts to climb into your bed, escort her to her room and proceed with Option 1 for the night.

OPTION 3:
Let her sleep wherever she wishes. Drop out of the bedtime battle and accept the fact her sleep preferences are not like other children's. In time she'll probably choose the comfort of her own bed.

One more piece of advice: If you think your daughter's sleep routine is caused by a deep-seated fear, it's time to make an appointment with a psychologist or a play therapist.